Dealing With Loss As One Grows Older

By Judi Singleton

I have done in-home-care for the elderly for ten years now. Before that I was a family counselor. I talk to people everyday about the losses of growing older. The loss of working and the structure one has from working. The loss of income that we earn. The loss of meaning from life if we have built our lives around thinking we are our work. The loss of driving being able to transport oneself. The losses through health care issues, issues like vision and hearing. The loss of old time friends and loved ones.

It seems to me all those things perhaps are harder than the loss of one's life. We need to learn to deal with loss. This kind of loss is inevitable. But maybe we can turn the loss around like we turn knowing what we don't want into what we do want. A celebration of what growing older means instead of what we are going to lose. So let's take a look at each one of these issues one by one.

Loss of work: First and foremost we are not the work we do. There are lots of kinds of work in God's world. Perhaps now we are retiring. This can give us the opportunity to re-invent ourselves. We perhaps can start a new business. Maybe be consultants as we have so much experience. Perhaps take a hobby and turn it into a full time profession. I have thought personally that retiring from full time outside work would give me time to write which is my passion. I also could develop my writing into a profession that was not limited to the kind of physical work I do in care-giving.

The loss of driving being able to transport oneself: I thought about this one too. I am now able to walk where I go. This walking gives me time to enjoy all the things I missed when I was driving. I am also healthier for walking. I meet neighbors, enjoy watching the children play, hear the birds singing. Watch a cat being lazy on a sunny porch. What a blessing this not driving is.

The losses through health care issues, examples a lessening of ones vision and hearing. We live in an age where they have laser surgery for our eyes, glasses that correct vision, hearing aids of all kinds. Whatever our physical challenges are it gives us the opportunity to turn to Higher Power with them. If I can relax into my natural state of being I am always abundantly healthy. Now that I have time I can learn that lesson.

The loss of old friends and loved ones: If you turn that one around you can sit and be lonely for those you lose or you can stretch yourself and reach out to new friends. This is hard many times but we are on this earth to learn. If we believe we can. We can make new friends and perhaps give something to the needs of the world. There is no lack of people who need support and love, or causes that need support. Reach out and give your love. It will come back to you ten times ten. It is a choice, you see.

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