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Forgiveness is Not Just Another F-word

By Amy Sherman

I bet many people have hurt you over your lifetime, and that you do not even think about them any more. Yet there may be some who still elicit that emotional knee jerk when you hear their name or see their face.

Let's talk about those. Who are they and why have you allowed them to have so much power over how you feel? While the pain and anger may still be raw at times, you can diminish it by reassessing what those feelings are doing to you.

When you are ready to rethink the situation, go over it in your mind once again. What can you learn about yourself from the experience? Can you redefine your relationship with the person who injured you to make it less painful?

Examine how much time and energy you put into feeling bad. Has it become an obsession? Express those emotions so you can move through them. You don't need to waste any more time with negative emotions that may be adding to your stress or causing you to think or act differently. When you hold onto a grudge, it changes you, making you say things and do things that you ordinarily wouldn't do. It creates an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation -- and that is incompatible with living a happy life.

Therefore, it may be time to think about forgiveness. Forgiveness happens at the moment you experience peace and understanding of how it can benefit you. Forgiveness is not done for the other person, nor is it necessary for the other person to know you forgive. You forgive because you want to feel better, free from the unresolved pain and hurt you feel. Forgiveness is transforming the grievance you have into something else, where you no longer let your emotions get to you. Forgiveness is not excusing or forgetting. It is just releasing and moving on.

Forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were and allows recovery to happen in an instant. You want to forgive because when you change your attitude, you change your world.