How is Your Midlife Crisis?

By Amy Sherman

As you transition through life, you are making many changes and going through many different stages. With a life expectancy of 78 (5 years longer for women), when you turn about 40, you are entering what is known as middle age. Everyone goes through this transition, but not everyone experiences the same thing. Often times, men, more than women, will feel the brunt of these changes at this mid-point in their lives.

When do the trials and tribulations of everyday life turn into a midlife crisis and how do you know you are in it? Good question.

It really depends on the degree to which you feel you can handle it. How deep in your inner disorientation do you feel? How much has your self-esteem and confidence affected your ability to function? How often do you second guess your choices? What's causing the confusion about who you are or where your life is going?

A true midlife crisis may take years to resolve and you may feel helpless, disappointed, distressed, entrapped or just bored. Sometimes you think it's easier to hold on to your "youth" and just ignore the changes. Getting past the crisis is difficult and it is really a process that may encounter a lot of resistance on your part. Plus, when the resistance turns into drastic or unrealistic lifestyle changes, it could lead to long-term consequences, often difficult to remedy. However, once you become aware of your discontentment, you can do something about it.

You may be aging, but it doesn't mean you're getting old. Midlife is an exciting time. According to Marianne Williamson, author of "The Age of Miracles: Embracing the New Midlife," she says, "What we have called middle age need not be seen as a turning point to death. It can be seen as a magical turning point to life as we've never known it, if we allow ourselves the power of an independent imagination."

With children older or out of the house, you have the opportunity to spend time on things you most enjoy. Make it a fun time of your life. Even though the crisis is bound to transform you, you will also be transforming what it means to go through midlife.

Therefore, set new goals and develop new hobbies. See, explore and discover who you are now. It's a time for rebirth and renewal.

Re-examine your past choices and commitments and revise them into an exciting and different journey ahead. Refocus your time and energy on doing new things that are more important to you, like going back to school or planning an adventurous vacation.

This all takes courage and work, but the ultimate goal is something extraordinary, revealing a new expression of yourself that embraces your giant leap into living your life.

About the author: Amy Sherman is the author of "Distress-Free Aging: A Boomer's Guide to Creating A Fulfilled and Purposeful Life"

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