Men and Midlife Crisis

By Nicolette Beard

Much has been written about the neurological differences between men and women. These differences are most evident as they approach midlife, often erupted in what’s popularly known as midlife crisis.”

Women have numerous resources to help them navigate almost any crisis. Men usually rely solely on their mate or significant other to talk about important issues. When a crisis hits, it usually blindsides a man. He can’t articulate his experience and becomes easily frustrated with feelings of despair.

Women are adapting and adjusting constantly through every life cycle. So when midlife appears, we at least have an understanding of our angst. Women may complain and whine, but they’re talking…to friends, sisters, coworkers and spouse. Men, by and large, suffer in silence.

Men are frustrated and act out by drinking to excess, overspending, obsessing over work. Not that women are immune to overindulging (read shoes). It’s just that women have had more practice balancing work and family and they have more outlets for healthy expression.

If they want off the rat race roller coaster, they can’t grasp any options. They are still the Provider, with a capital P. It’s wired into their DNA. For a man to follow his passion or purpose takes enormous courage in the face of society’s expectations. House husbands are viewed with distrust still even 30 years after the movie, Kramer vs. Kramer. What about the man who leaves a 20-year career to become a writer? Change from the norm, represents uncharted waters.

It takes a strong woman to encourage her husband to pursue something other than his pre-conceived path. The monetary sacrifice can destroy even the strongest couples. For those who triumph, their bond is stronger because their mutual sacrifice leads to something greater than themselves.

All crises, on some level, are spiritual. It’s an attempt of the human being (the Self) to transcend the strictures of the past, the limitations of his personality and to evolve to become better than he was – to serve in a greater capacity in the future.

Crisis is an indication that something isn’t working. The struggle comes with the “deciding” phase. A teenager is deciding who he is, a parent is deciding how to parent a difficult child, a college graduate is deciding what profession to pursue, and a midlife man is deciding what his future will look like. These are daily struggles we all experience.

But once you’ve made a decision, then you experience a breakthrough to a path that serves you and, ultimately, humanity better.

Author's bio: Nicolette Beard, a former editor, publisher and advertising executive provides insightful commentary about men on her blog, http://www.Man-o-pause.com: providing midlife men a place to breathe.

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