Midlife Crisis Becomes An Issue for More Women Part 3

By Sue Shellenbarger

The "midlife crisis" has long been thought of as something that afflicts men and often involves expensive toys and second wives. But the Wall Street Journal's Work & Family columnist, Sue Shellenbarger, says that as gender roles change, women are increasingly experiencing their own version of these upheavals. What follows is adapted from her new book, "The Breaking Point: How Female Midlife Crisis Is Transforming Today's Women."

Ripple Effects

Midlife women are turning old sex roles upside down. They are dating and having affairs with younger mates -- a luxury that used to be regarded as the exclusive province of men. And increasingly, they are enjoying vital, active sex lives over the age of 45.

A rising number of women are having extramarital affairs. In 1991, research showed married men cheated a lot more often, with about one in five admitting to having affairs, compared with one in 10 women. But a 3,000-person study from the National Opinion Research Center in 2002 suggests that the overall rate of extramarital cheating for women is rising rapidly and is approaching that of men, with nearly one in six married women saying they have had affairs.

The middle-aged group appears to be leading that trend. In a look at 1994 data from the National Opinion Research Center, Michael Wiederman found a spike in the rate of cheating reported by women ages 30 to 50, and lower rates among women born before the baby boom. Mr. Wiederman, an associate professor of psychology at Columbia College in South Carolina, believes that extramarital sex is simply easier and more acceptable to today's middle-aged women than it was in the past. "There's been a change in attitudes and mores. There are more women out there in the working world, and they have greater independence, which you need to have an affair."

The midlife search for meaning drives women into other pursuits. Many change careers to pursue work that is more altruistic or fulfilling. Others return to college to pursue a new interest. Part-time college enrollment among women 35 and over grew 10.5% in the past decade, nearly twice the overall rate of growth in part-time students, the National Center for Education Statistics says. Full-time enrollments among older women rose 31.3%, well above the 18.7% overall trendline.

Organized religion is drawing significant support from midlife women's quest for meaning. While the proportion of middle-aged men who attend church often has declined nearly 10 percentage points during the past decade to 38%, women ages 38 through 55 have held steady in church attendance.

Midlife women also are changing the face of sports and travel. Participation in such adventurous pursuits as wilderness camping, wall-climbing, kayaking and snow-shoeing has risen significantly since 1997 among women ages 38 through 55, according to a study by Leisure Trends Group, Boulder, Colo.

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