Setting Healthy Boundaries

I'm sure when your kids where younger, they used to tell you to keep out, they need their privacy and to stop budding into their lives. Actually, they were setting boundaries with you (however, crudely), which is normal and quite healthy. Now, especially, it's time for you to set boundaries because you're life is overwhelming with responsibilities and commitments as you try to keep things flowing smoothly and efficiently.

Unfortunately, it is easier when you are younger to tell someone to "leave you alone", but it is equally as important to still do it now. If you can relate to any of the following, you need to be setting boundaries, so you, too, can have some personal space and "me" time.

Are you caring for your elderly parents at home, or always running to tend to their needs at their facility? Are your children still at home, needing your guidance and support? Are they in college needing your financial support?

Are you working at a full time job?

Are you the sole financial provider? Are you married, both working and trying to divvy out household chores fairly?

Or are you single, interested in dating again and perhaps, seeking a long-term relationship? Of course, you've already set boundaries in many areas of your life, but sometimes the dramas of your life cloud your boundaries. Commitments from work, family, friends, social obligations, intimate relationships, etc. cause you to become overwhelmed and lose your sense of self. Your boundaries become overlapped and undefined.

Here are some suggestions to help you set boundaries. You can use these statements to nurture and support yourself as you go through the process of setting your limits: I know I have commitments but I still remember that I can say NO when I need to.

My number one priority is me and when I become overwhelmed, I give myself time to regroup.

No matter what the relationship, I still know the importance of maintaining my own personal interests.

I do not compromise my integrity or the standards I live by for the sake of any relationship.

When things don't "feel" right, I do not ignore the message, knowing that this information is in my best interest.

I understand that happiness comes from within and that I cannot rely on someone else to make me be happy.

I am very important and remind myself of this daily.

I take things in stride because I know how too much stress impacts my life.

I keep my focus on positive, healthy solutions when I am met with adversity.

If I am faced with personal challenges I cannot resolve myself, I am able to seek professional help.

I understand the value of keeping a sense of humor when the "going gets tough."

I am aware of my self-talk and keep my inner dialogue away from negative, self-demeaning comments. You are evolving and growing daily and deserve some time to be all you can be regardless of what's going on around you. If you're too busy to enjoy life, you're just too busy!

About the author:Amy Sherman, LMHC is the author of Distress-Free Aging: A Boomer's Guide to Creating a Fulfilled and Purposeful Life and 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 and Yes, 60!

Setting Healthy Boundaries related pages:

Baby Boomer Articles
Boomer Bookstore

From Setting Healthy Boundaries Return to Home