Seven Ways to Improve Your Relationships
By Amy Sherman
There is nothing more difficult in life than maintaining healthy
relationships. Whether you are 17 or 70, your relationships
determine how you see your world, how successful you are and how
happy you feel. Here are a few things to think about so you can
improve your current relationships:
1. When you argue, avoid bringing up old baggage or unresolved
issues. Not only does that escalate things, it destroys any
chances of clearing up present problems you may be having.
Instead, stick to the issue at hand, get that resolved and when
things are flowing more smoothly, (could be an hour or a week
later) have a calm discussion about the other issue bothering you.
2. Encourage honest, open dialogues. Don't be afraid to hear
things that may be uncomfortable. The insights you gain will
help you become a better person. Hopefully, this goes both ways, and you will be able to share your honest thoughts as well.
3. Always be respectful of others. Snide put-downs, even in jest, are hurtful. Treat your partner, kids, friends, co-workers, etc. as you would want to be treated and you will get the same respect back.
4. Be an interesting person. Develop your hidden talents or gifts; go back to school for added training, keep up with world events, politics, etc. The more interesting you are, the more people want to be around you. You must be able to orchestrate your life and be all you can be.
5. Trust your intuition, which is that part of you with knowledge vital to your well-being. This internal antenna continually sends you messages and if anything or anyone makes you feel uneasy, don't ignore it.
6. Keep your expectations about people realistic. Don't expect
your husband to remember Valentine's Day, if he hasn't in 30 years. Don't be mad if you haven't heard from the kids in two weeks, if that's been the pattern. Understand that you will be creating your own frustration, by expecting things to change by itself. Either accept things as they are, if that will reduce your disappointment or express your feelings openly and honestly, if that would bring about change.
7. Jealousy, mood swings, distorted accusations or demands do not lend themselves to healthy relationships. If you find yourself behaving this way, seek professional help as that behavior may stem from some underlying anger issues.
Your relationships should be joyous, peaceful and precious.
Therefore, be thankful to those who spark your inner spirit,
be forgiving to those who caused you heartache and be cognizant
enough to use the lessons from both to grow into a more loving
friend and partner to those closest to you.
About the author: Amy Sherman, LMHC is the
author of
Distress-Free Aging:
A Boomer's Guide to Creating a Fulfilled and Purposeful Life.
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