The Hidden Emotions of Retirement

By Dr. Neli Stoyanova

Retirement and stress? What? More stress?

Well, people don’t usually think of the stress connection until they actually face that life transition.

There are 3 big sources of stress after you retire: Emotions, Health and Finances

Emotional issues

I. Retirement and Stress: Singles

1. Singles: To date or not to date?

Some people are single because they have been through a traumatic divorce and are still reluctant to start a new relationship. Other people are single because they have chosen to be single. And yet there are those who have lost their partners to an illness or an accident and need some time for mourning.

Each and every one of the retired, single people that I have spoken with has his or her reasons for being single, but they all agree that being single can be as satisfying as a relationship- it all depends on how you feel about it. There is happy singlehood and miserable singlehood, but hey- there is nothing more miserable than being in an unhappy relationship.

2. Single men vs. single women: What is different in terms of quality of life?

It is interesting to know that single women do better than single men. Men have a lower life expectancy rate than women, but married men have a higher life expectancy than their single counterparts.

“It's unclear why men — statistically speaking — are the weaker sex. Heredity and male sex hormones may play a role, affecting such characteristics as body fat distribution. Specifically, men are more likely to accumulate fat around the abdomen (apple-shape obesity), which is associated with an increased risk of heart disease, diabetes, cancer and stroke.

Women, on the other hand, are more likely to put on extra weight around the hips. This pear-shape obesity, while unhealthy, is not linked as closely to potentially fatal conditions.” http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/mens-health/MC00013

II. Retirement and Stress: Empty nest syndrome The kids are gone to college or on their own. This is the time to reconsider your singlehood if you have been a single parent or time for a reality check for any marriage. Many long-term married couples divorce during this period after realizing that their children kept them together.

Other couples divorce because they are overwhelmed by the changes (retirement, no children at home to keep you busy, facing the constant presence of your partner, illness of the partner).

Here is an example: a lady that I personally know was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer shortly after she retired and had to go through chemo and radiation therapy. Her husband was so overwhelmed by this sudden change in their lives that he asked for a divorce.

III. Retirement and Stress: Loss of a loved one

Unfortunately, death can strike our loved ones and there is a huge amount of pain, anger, guilt and despair that can make us feel helpless and depressed. Retirement and stress related to the loss of a loved one could increase the risk of developing cancer, and in cancer victims, may affect the rate of survival.

A study conducted by Dr. Levav in Israel reported in the American Journal of Public Health (Oct, 2000) found that cancer victims who lost sons in a war had a higher risk of dying from the disease than did those who had no loss.

Researchers also reported that parents of children who died in accidents were more likely to develop respiratory tumors than those who had lost their children in other ways or had not suffered a loss. In all victims of tragedy or stress, there was a significant increase in the risk of developing lymphatic tumors and melanomas.

The loss of a loved one can literally cause a broken heart. Emotional shock is known to cause Broken heart syndrome (more frequently among women after 50).

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