The Twenty-Dollar Bill

By Amy Sherman, LMHC

If I were to take a $20.00 bill and crumble it up, would you still want it?

If I took the crumbled bill and stomped on it, would you want it still?

Of course, you would. After all, the $20.00 bill still keeps its value no matter how dirty, squashed, stomped or messed up it is. Why do we have so much trouble believing the same for ourselves?

When you feel life has beaten, humiliated, embarrassed or messed you up, you probably have a hard time remembering that you are a valuable, priceless human being. In fact, if you keep listening to your inner voice and the negative criticism, you really don't need someone else to put you down.

Wayne Dyer says, "You are always a valuable, worthwhile human being - not because anybody says so, not because you're successful, not because you make a lot of money, but because you decide to believe it and for no other reason."

Therefore, if you have become used to focusing on your shortcomings, you need to replace that thinking with positive aspects of yourself.

1. Start by catching yourself saying something negative and counter it with something positive. For instance, "I'm such a dummy when it comes to understanding the computer, but I am a fast learner, so show me what to do."

2. Everything you do does not have to be perfect. Therefore, focus on what you've accomplished, even if it hasn't been totally completed. For instance, you may not have finished the 26-mile marathon, but if you were able to do 15 miles, that is something to be proud of.

3. Recognize areas that you can change and areas that you cannot. If you are overweight and can drop to a comfortable size 12 and maintain that size, don't struggle with trying to get down to a size 6. Be realistic by setting attainable goals.

Your self-esteem affects every aspect of your life. People with good self-esteem find it easier to attract and maintain long-lasting relationships. They are better able to deal with disappointments by picking themselves up and moving on. They understand that mistakes are learning opportunities, because how else would they know what not to do again.

Building your self-esteem is a life-long process, but worth the effort, if it makes you more likeable and lovable.

About the author: Amy Sherman, LMHC is the author of: Distress-Free Aging: A Boomer's Guide to Creating a Fulfilled and Purposeful Life and 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 and Yes, 60!

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