The Birds and the Bees for Sex After 50: 10 Tips

By Dr. Dorree Lynn

“Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it” wrote Cole Porter. Well, so do men and women over 50.

According to a recently published ground breaking AARP study, individuals of all ages keep doing what comes naturally. The difference is, what once came naturally has changed forms. Sexual mechanics may have altered, but in their place, intimacy gets a second chance. The trick to making all of this work usually requires an attitude shift on the part of the participants. If you expect to make love the same way you did when hormones were your propelling force, forget it. Fifty plus togetherness takes a different kind of motivation. Yes, we have pills, kegel exercises, hormone replacements, titillating flicks, and of course, we all know that healthy diets and exercise help. We have sexual aids of all kinds, but what really makes the difference is the way you think about it all.

1. The brain is your major sex organ. Yes, it’s the truth. If what’s below your belt doesn't work the way it once did, change your thinking about sex and what it’s all about. Sex is all about process, not only the goal.

2. Learn to cherish your sensuality. Remember Marvin Gaye’s song that we all loved? Think about songs like Let’s Get It On and Sexual Healing. Now we can understand what that sexy guy was singing about and we can remember why we thought he was so great.

3. Make sure you are in good health. Get a total physical before trying anything new.

4. Exercise gets your brain’s serotonin swaying, your circulation flowing and your muscles moving. Do a little or a lot, but do something.

5. Eating well and losing those few extra pounds will not only help keep you healthy. It will make you feel sexier.

6. Guys: Let science help you where nature has left off. You may find your erections aren’t as firm or frequent as they once were. This is normal. If prescribed, don’t be afraid to use erection aids. Caution though, not every prescription works for every man, and most don’t work all of the time. Genuine desire is still your best ally.

7. Ladies: If you need a little help from a friend, try over the counter lubricating products. Try products like Astroglide, KY Jelly, or any of the many new products out there. Vaseline is no no, petroleum is not the best lubricant.

8. Communication keeps sex alive and it comes in many forms. Sometimes a simple gesture, a loving comment or even an afternoon in the park can be very sexy.

9. Become a good listener - to yourself. Think about your feelings, your values and your knowledge. If you are shy and confused by the new you, this is to be expected. Your self-esteem may not be all that you wish. You may not know what you want now. That’s fine. Start to talk to your friends, read the latest medical information, surf the web, and fact check before you believe anything you are told.

10. It’s a statistical fact. Good sex and good relationships help keep people happier, healthier and living longer

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